The haggis has taken the world by storm
With evocative Scottishness, a cheeky chubby form
And an epic, eight-verse intro, which is frankly not the norm
(may I be so bold?)
For a dish that's most delicious when eaten very warm
In a land so cold.
Now, girls, let wisdom be your guide,
Assert your deep-down sense o' pride
Our hips we care not now how wide -
We'll still attract.
This meal will hug you from inside
And that's a fact.
So hasten hottest haggis unto your waiting lips
With traditional mashed tatties, a side of ubiquitous chips
Or pan-fried haggis filo balls with raspberry garlic dips
Make swift this grace
So with the piping pudding here please now get to grips
And fill your face!
Verses 1 & 3 commissioned by Great Circle Communications for the Interactive University in 2004.
Verse 2 written for Jo Macsween's address to the haggis at The Girls Burns Night at the
Scotch Malt Whisky Society 2006.